The Third Cord!
May 7, 2024 | 5:23 pm
My husband of 17 years and I have lots of similarities. We are both born again, passionately loving God and serving people.
We are committed to bringing up our children in a godly way. We are united in how we make family and personal decisions.
We want to see the best in each other. We are best friends and enjoy each other’s company. Blissful?! Well…Not quite.
We also have differences. You see, the fact that he’s a man and I, a woman, begins our differences. For the young and single you might wonder what the big deal is.
Mike Gungor in, ‘Laughing Your Way to a Happy Marriage’ says that men are unidirectional in their thinking. Everything is in boxes which include their marriage, children and everything else. The woman is described as having a brain that looks like a maze of interconnected live electric wires. Everything is interconnected.
Decisions are emotionally made as compared to the logical rationale of the man.
Mine is choleric while I am melancholic. He loves the arts. I prefer the sciences.
He’s from a huge family while am from a small family. He’s good at money management while am not. These differences make up for some of our major conflicts.
Early in our courtship, we argued. A lot! We rubbed each other the wrong way often. We were rough on each other and openly attacked each other. This created heat, anger and frustration.
There were times we almost gave up on each other. We were in love yet so different. We wanted to be close, yet couldn’t stand the rough edges we each had. Until the Lord helped us understand His role, as the third cord in our relationship.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 A threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Have you ever tried rubbing two surfaces of anything together? When two pieces of wood metal or plastic are rubbed
together, they generate heat. If you rub your hands together, you generate heat. My physics teacher, Mr. Baraza, called it friction.
The moment you put the oil in between these two surfaces, the friction diminishes. It fills in the small gaps on each of the two surfaces to create a gliding texture hence reducing friction. Brilliant right?!
In the Bible, oil is a symbol of the Holy Spirit’s involvement in our lives. When invited into our relationships, the Holy Spirit, will bring healing, softening of hearts and empowerment to help us know how to manage them. He makes a perfect third cord.
I had to work on my hard-hotheadedness and allow my husband to lead while my husband had to work on his anger and learn to hear me out.
God just wants us to ask Him into our relationships and He will show up and provide fresh perspectives to every difficulty.
Are you experiencing a troubled relationship? Could you be rubbing others the wrong way and wonder why you keep losing friendships?
Are you courting and wondering how to maintain purity or even how to make the relationship work?
Are you married and you want out because you think you are incompatible?
Are you at loggerheads with your parents, your children, your in-laws, or your workmates? I believe there is a way out!
Am convinced that God wants us to enjoy happy relationships with those around us. My husband and I grew through these friction areas because we learnt how to pray through our quarrels and discovered that not every situation is a win-win or win-lose or lose-lose situation.
God allows the renewing of our minds so that we can approve what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God for our lives (Romans 12:2).
He brings love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control which are important components to any relationship.
God wants to be part of your friendships and relationships. He is willing to step in and take over every relationship in your life and reveal to you His good, acceptable and perfect will.
He wants to be the third cord so that the rope of friendship is not easily broken!
Andy Park has written a beautiful song that I love.
Soften my heart with Oil
Open my eyes to see
Fill me with understanding
Soften my heart to receive
I want all that You have for me
Jesus all that You have for me
Open my understanding
Soften my heart to receive
I want all that You have for me
Don’t let my heart be fallow
Don’t let my heart be hard
Water me with Your Spirit
Soften the ground of my heart